Change is inevitable, that’s how true it is. We constantly evolve into someone we didn’t think we would be and that’s surprising! Sometimes change comes so fast, and in some other way, we knew something is about to happen. I don’t know if I’m the only one who is like this but I always get this strange feeling whenever I feel like change is about to come along my way.
That’s the reason why I feel so scared pushing my limits and feeling a little bit worried taking a step for something I really wanted to change. Because when I started to do so, everything follows in just a matter of seconds. And I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, but I like to tag it as both. Losing something from your hands means gaining something into your pocket and you take it again and again and again. It’s a lifelong learning and there is nothing wrong in constantly making shift towards goodness and growth.
As I try to recall some changes I did in my life, all I can say is that it lead me to where I am right now and where should I be. No regrets over the past years and I will continue to make changes until nothing can be changed anymore because I have faced everything. The goal is to keep on making mistakes, take a shift, move forward and learn from the heartaches life has brought to you. We should always remember that the life we live is from the lessons we learned.
It’s normal to feel sad and scared at first because nothing comes easy in just one try, but as soon as you get over it, you’ll realize that moving on is totally fine.
I’d like to open up with you about something and maybe let’s end this post on a more personal level. So lately, not so long ago, I was feeling empty and stiff. I knew ‘change’ was all I needed because I got tired from doing the same things every single day. I wanted so bad to have my own place so that I can manage to do things on my own without bothering anyone else’s privacy (having a rommies problem). I was so determined to move in to a new place/ apartment and so I did. My friends helped me find one and they were so supportive of me. After 2 weeks of searching an apartment that fits my standards, finally we have found the perfect apartment for me. I was so excited about decorating the walls and anything that associates with apartment design. When everything was setup, that’s when I felt something has changed already. EVERYTHING BECAME SO DIFFERENT! I don’t know how to explain it but this kind of change really affected me. Sleeping alone for the first time in a loooong time feels really weird and scary, somehow. The need to cook my own meal and wash the dishes feels so tiring. I can’t imagine I am doing this now all by myself and I tell you, this kind of shift will make you feel like a grown up lady.
So much has changed for the past month and I can’t even recall when did I decided to finally step out from my comfort zone. All I know was my heart was screaming for something new, something bold, and something different. Going to work before has become an obligation for the sake of attendance, not for the sake of growth. It’s hard to work if your attention is not on your tasks but rather in the possibility of changes.
I was looking for personal and career growth because I know I can do much more. I don’t like living under limitations for it blocks my creativity. One of the reasons why I decided to leave my job was because my potential is limited and my efforts are not being acknowledged. As part of the ‘millennial’ group, I prefer to have purpose at work over paychecks. It’s more meaningful to work for employers committed to values and ethics. There will always be this part of me who will constantly seek for real purpose and question where am I going to next and why.
Of course, I won’t say I am good at everything and thus I know all things. I still need a mentor who can oversee me and align my skills where I can figure out which aspect of my job I find most energizing. It keeps my passion burning and my determination going.
So as I venture myself out in my new job, I hope I can manage to maximize my hours in the office learning new things and meeting new people. Firsts are always intimidating and puts a lot of pressure on me. But this is just part of the change and cycle, everything will fall right into place right after.
Thank you so much for taking your time reading this, whoever you are. This post might not be relatable to you but I’m pretty sure you will someday. And if you do, please embrace change and have the courage to step out from your comfort zone.
To you who is in doubt to make a change for yourself, yes, I know it’s hard to take courage from the world full of cynical people who are afraid to break the stereotypes. But hey, it’s your life, you do know your value more than anyone else. You can’t change your life but you can change how to live it.
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